Ohio: The Republican Convention
Rosemary has walked over to the bassinet, looked in, and wonders what they did to
her baby. He just has his father’s eyes.
Donald J. Trump is the child of the dark side of modern Republican politics, the
violence, the racism, the sexism, the simplistic, nonsensical answers. The party
leaders are looking in the crib, horrified by what they see, and wanting to deny
paternity. The problem is The Donald has his daddy’s eyes. Hail Donald! Hail his
daddy who made him!
His father goes by many names: Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Breitbart,
Drudge, Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity, and Fox News just to name a few. His DNA can
be seen in the attacking of American war heroes, in the swift boating of John Kerry,
his attacks on Megyn Kelly and other women, in Limbaugh’s using the word slut to
describe a young Georgetown law student named Sandra Fluke, and Republican
office holders joking that women should just lie back and enjoy rape, his racism in
George W. Bush’s smearing of John McCain’s adopted daughter in South Carolina,
Rush telling a caller to “take the bone out of his nose,” the justifying the murder of
an unarmed teenage boy named Trayvon Martin, and the birther movement, his
attacks on Muslims to Ann Coulter’s "we should invade their countries, kill their
leaders and convert them to Christianity” rhetoric, and his violent threats and
statements to the glorification of Cliven Bundy, the Brooks brother’s riots, and
threats of “second amendment remedies.” Republican Party, there is no washing
your hands. Your chickens have come home to roost. He might be a little more crude
than you would like, but Donald Trump is your child. No one has done anything to
his eyes. Hail Donald! And hail his daddy!
Donald Trump is so vexing to the grown ups in the Republican Party that they have
started embracing Ted Cruz as a means to an end of stopping Trump. This is like
someone with obsessive-compulsive cleaning disorder whispering sweet nothings
into Pigpen of the Peanuts comic strip’s ear. The only way Cruz could be more hated
among his colleagues in Washington is if he brought Typhoid Mary to the boy in the
plastic bubble convention. That relationship is like a snake dancing with a
mongoose. You know it is going to end with one of them sinking their fangs into the
other, but to many in the GOP it is still better than the Donald.
Like thinking all a rabid dog needs is a good coat brushing, many in the Republican
Party are pushing all their chips into the center of the table hoping for a contested
Even though the GOP base has overwhelmingly spoken in primaries and caucuses
across this land, the Donald is their man, through hook, crook, and simple math,
many are hoping for a contested convention where they can banish Trump and have
a white knight to emerge from the aftermath to slay the great dragon known as
Hillary. While notions of a St. George in their midst are farfetched, because if there
was one, he would probably have already been running. One should always be wary
of anything they wish for.
Modern political conventions have become weeklong infomercials, but instead of
the ShamWow, Spray On Hair, or Chia Pets, it is the polishing and packaging of their
party’s candidate. Speeches are gone over with a fine-toothed comb, balloon drops
timed, and even the amount of affection between a husband and wife debated. It is
why the Obama’s fist bumped instead of swallowing each other’s tongues like Al and
Tipper Gore. It is turd polishing at the highest level and why departures from script
can cause chaos and embarrassment. Remember when a disheveled Clint Eastwood
talked to an empty chair. They are not news events, but rather carefully
choreographed reality shows. Like selling knives that can cut tin cans or Thigh
Masters that will sit on people’s shelves after a couple of uses, both parties expect a
five to ten point bump in the week or two following their conventions. Then it is just
a matter of what their candidate can do with that momentum. The beauty
pageant/used car salesman aspect of the conventions is why the major television
networks no longer like covering these things.
While at the Democratic convention, Americans will see just enough Hillary Clinton
to forget why they don’t like her and enough of Bill Clinton will be covered up so
they don’t remember why they would not want him chaperoning their daughters’
sorority. Some in the Republican Party are hoping for a free-for-all, a bloody battle
royal where hopefully Donald Trump does not emerge the victor.
Unlike the Democratic Party, that has a sizable number of super delegates to
ensure that a Donald Trump (or a Bernie Sanders) does not hijack their party, for
the Republican Party, it is a sheer numbers game. Donald Trump needs 1,237
delegates to win the nomination on the first ballot. At the current pace, depending
on what happens in California, the last and one of the largest primaries, he might fall
The last time a major party’s candidate did not win the nomination on the first
ballot was in 1976 when an incredibly weak Gerald Ford had to fend off an
insurgent Ronald Reagan to go on in the fall to lose to Jimmy Carter. After the first
ballot, depending on the delegation’s rules, they can then vote for whomever they
would like. At this point, it becomes a brokered convention and anyone, even
someone who has sat on the sidelines the last few months, can emerge as the party’s
nominee. The convention literally devolves into a bunch of smoky backroom deals. It
is every reporter’s dream and every party’s nightmare. There is no putting your best
foot forward. It is just hoping no one turns on the lights to watch the cockroaches
scatter. It truly becomes the possible presidency being sold to the highest bidder.
In an era where the people are given the illusion that they are picking the
candidate, such a convention would most likely fracture an entire party, especially if
one Donald J. Trump is involved. This is a man whose ego is so paper thin that he
gets bent out of shape when someone points out his Munchkin-like little hands or
that his trophy wife has appeared half-naked in numerous magazines and implies
that a female reporter must be on her period if she dares to ask him a tough
question. He would not handle well the nomination being wrestled away from him
in a series of backroom deals. As he has pointed out, he could stand in the middle of
Avenue, shoot somebody and not lose a supporter. His Tom Browning “gooble
gobble, one of us” followers, especially if they feel cheated, will do whatever he tells
them to, including forming a third party for the election, ensuring a Clinton
presidency. Stealing the nomination from Trump would more be the Ides of March
for the Republican Party instead of a successful kick off for November.
It is one of the reasons the Cleveland Police Department has requested thousands
of pieces of extra riot gear be appropriated for the Republican Convention. For a
pampered son of a millionaire who has been protected and coddled his entire life,
Donald Trump loves to think he is a tough guy, even when he runs screaming and
crying away from a 130-pound reporter in high heels and Lee Press On Nails.
Violence surrounds his rhetoric and campaign events. I don’t think the Republican
Convention will devolve into a brokered convention. It will, in all probability, end up
being a “swallow hard and act happy” event
I do believe there will be violence, not necessarily at the convention, but outside.
Folks get agitated when you use racism, sexism, and violent rhetoric, especially
when they see you trying to exclude them from the American dream. Trump says he
wishes we could go back to the days when protestors could be roughed up. You
know, the good old days like Kent State, tin soldiers and Nixon coming. One cannot
escape the irony that Trump’s coronation will be held in Ohio.
Sorry, conservatives, he truly is Nixon’s son. Hail the Donald! Hail his daddy! We are
truly on our own.