The Dukes of Hazzard
It is time I address the most pressing controversy in America: TV Land pulling The Dukes of
Hazzard. The tales of cousin Bo, cousin Daisy, and cousin Luke are temporarily not on a cable
channel that I cannot find on my cable package. Let the wearing of sackcloth (with ashes), and
the tearing of garments begin.
Thousands of middle-aged doughy white men are outraged because the Dukes are not cruising
around cable television in the General Lee, an orange 1969 Dodge Charger, maybe the most
famous car on television in the 1980s. Oh, the humanity.
What is next, the removal of The Flying Nun because of anti-Catholic bias? No nun can fly, I
don’t care how windy it is, or the removal of B.J. and the Bear because no self-respecting
chimpanzee would freely work with Greg Evigan?
Still, I am all in favor of The Dukes of Hazzard being taken off TV. We are talking the Coy and
Vance (RIP) year, right? The year that stars Tom Wopat and John Schneider were replaced by
look-a-likes because they got in a dispute with the studio? No one should have to suffer through
those episodes. Even the cartoon replacement Duke boys stunk on Saturday mornings that year.
It appears that TV Land pulled The Dukes of Hazzard because the stockcar that the boys drove
around in, known as the General Lee, had the confederate flag on its roof. Did TV Land
For those of you on the other side, those of you upset about TV Land’s decision, sit down and
take a deep breath. It is The Dukes of Hazzard. Let me repeat, The Dukes of Hazzard. If a tree
falls in the woods and no one is there, does it make a noise? If TV Land stopped airing The
Dukes of Hazzard, didn’t say anything, and no one noticed, is The Dukes of Hazzard television
show really cancelled?
I cannot imagine that there is a huge audience watching The Dukes of Hazzard weekly on TV
Land. Remove televisions where no one is around to change the channel, shut-ins, those trapped
in iron lungs, those being tortured in secret CIA prisons and fans with Bo and Luke portraits
made from their fingernail clippings hanging in their living room and I am sure all the viewers of
the program could get together at a local coffee shop and still have room for the fans of Fall Guy,
T.J. Hooker and Air Wolf.
Just because TV Land decided not to air the Dukes for a while, does not mean that a person
cannot get their Bo and Luke fix. This is not the era of rabbit ears, your dad yelling at you to get
your lazy butt up to change the channel for him, and four networks to choose from, if PBS counts
as a channel.
If you want to watch the Dukes, there is this thing called the Internet. Go to YouTube or Hulu.
You can watch to your heart’s content. You can even get their adventure on something called
DVDs. There are lots of sites where you can purchase them. I would just avoid the ones with the
opening page that proclaims “white power.”
There are used DVD/CD stores out there that have copies of the happenings in Hazzard
County. Go to a flea market and I am sure that you can buy VHS copies of the show. For the
right amount of cash, the five living stars of the show will reenact your favorite episode right in
your living room for you. Cooter and Enos will probably fix your porch while they are there as
well. It is not like they are doing much.