Trump: Send In The Clowns
Every circus has its clown. Add a rubber nose and a pair of floppy shoes, and that is Donald
Trump in the Republican Party 2016 presidential clown car. Come on, he already has the hair.
Now, that statement might have come close to slander on my part. So, I should probably
apologize to all the clown brethren out there. Yours is an extremely honored and well-respected
To associate their grease paint hilarity with The Donald is an undeserved slap at clowns and
pancake wearing jesters. I am sure they would want you to know that their hair is made of only
the highest quality plastic fibers and would never associate themselves with buildings and
objects so garish looking as those that carry the Trump brand. If they are going to drop their
pants in public they would make sure that they had a huge pair of underpants or a barrel to hide
While a lot of people love clowns, no one in their right mind would want one to give a
commencement address or run for president. Yet, there seems to be a sizeable chunk of GOP
voters that like the cut of the Donald’s jib. Every time I watch Donald Trump speak I get the
same cringe I get watching Robert DeNiro trying to be funny. The only difference is DeNiro is
trying to be funny. On the other hand, the Donald has the dignity of a leisure suit collection.
While the leisure suit has its place, like for testing flammable material, no one would suspect that
anyone would want to start wearing one again, usually because the wearer risks uncontrollable
rashes. Kind of like the Donald.
While everyone loves a clown, do you go to the circus just to watch them and would anyone
really want to see one park his backside behind John Kennedy’s desk. In other words, is Donald
Trump just a sideshow or the GOP’s main event? I should divulge, although I don’t think it
affects my opinion of Trump, that a century ago some of the New York loudmouth’s barbs
would have been directed at my ancestors.
One was a “white slave”, who was either stolen or sold by his parents when he was a child off
the streets of Scotland. He jumped ship at an American port. Central Iowa, particularly Ames,
would be unrecognizable today without his offspring’s’ contributions.
Another, if family stories are to be believed, was a stowaway on the run from something his
offspring will probably never know. He was not a nice man. A photograph of his living lineage
would be a portrait of the American dream. I cannot imagine that ethnicity makes a difference
when it comes to the quality of character of those who come to this country and their children
and grandchildren that are raised in the cradle of the American dream.
Trump’s comments are the same old empty gong noise that the ignorant have bloviated since
the founding of this country. Only the audience has changed. Americans often forget that they
are the children and grandchildren of the people their politicians and pundits attacked.
There has never been another presidential candidate like Donald Trump in the history of this
country, a man whose life has proven that if you are born the son of a millionaire real estate
mogul, you can go bankrupt three or four times, and still die a pampered, egocentric millionaire.
It is the American dream, just without the poverty, dignity, advancement, or feel good ending.
His life is Animal House from Doug Neidermeyer’s perspective, except Jugdish, Sydney and
Mohammad would have been asked to leave the rush party the moment they knocked on the
He is Fox News’s Kim Kardashian, just without the sex tape and a larger backside. Both have
been equally deserving of the press they have gotten. He is a bombastic, rich, climate change
denier, a birther, and xenophobe that lives in the media capital of the free world. Mostly his
convictions and principles sway with what best benefits the Donald and garners him headlines.
He is perfect sound bite material for a 24-hour media constantly searching for a new controversy
or a ratings grabber. He is what Sarah Palin would be if she was not afraid of a house falling on
her and some young girl trying to steal her ruby red slippers.