The Tripper

Tom Jane, Jamie King

“Hippies. They’re everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.”

“M’am, I’m here to check your house for parasites ... apparently, you have hippies.” - Eric Cartman, South Park

Liberals are wimps. If you don’t believe me, just look at the candidates for President that they have paraded out for the last few decades. Walter Mondale, Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, John Kerry. Alan Alda could bitch slap them. The Republicans pushed around each one of them. Who could forget George H.W.Bush lashing out how old “Duke” was a card carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union. The poor Massachusetts gentleman wouldn’t even avenge his wife if someone one raped and murdered her. He was a wimp when it came to crime and looked like a total fool in a helmet. Al Gore was a liar and a wack job. Right wingers hammered away that he told everyone he invented the Internet and believed that Love Story was based on Tipper and his relationship. John Kerry was a flip-flopper and a snow skiing elitist who did not deserve the Purple Heart he got in Vietnam. Worst of all, he was gay friendly. These four gentlemen were worked over worse than a piñata at a 5-year-old’s birthday party. When confronted with the fact that they might have some liberal tendencies, they looked at their feet and promised Americans that they really didn’t eat children. Gore,spent his whole adult life concerned about the environment, so the only time he didn’t mention it - was when he was running for President. Kerry, who muzzled his Vice-Presidential candidate John Edwards when it came to talk of “two Americas,” pretty much laid on the floor and let Karl Rove, George Bush, Fox News, and the hate radio crowd put the boots to him. Next time he promises to fight back. Each of these men lost and Democratic candidates across the nation have gone down in flames because they let Republicans lie and seemed almost embarrassed to be a liberal. What is wrong with being a liberal? Many of those left of the dial are running as fast as they can away from the word as if it was sexual perversion involving chocolate pudding and a goat.

Just once, just once, I would love to have a Presidential candidate stand up in front of the television cameras and say, “Yes, I am a liberal and proud of it. It was liberals that saved this nation during the Great Depression. It was liberals that rid this nation of child labor and instituted the 40 hour work week. It was liberals who stood on the front lines of the civil rights movement and liberals who put their bodies on the line to end an unjust war. It was liberals who made your cars safer (I would like to thank the liberals who saved my brother’s life when he was in a car accident because of the safety standards they made Detroit put into place.) when the auto industry refused. We have battled to clean up our air, battled to ensure that a college education is possible for anyone who wants one, and fought for adequate health care for every American citizen. We are the ones who made sure your parents could enjoy their independence in their twilight years through social security and Medicare. When conservatives parrot that government does not work, it worked under us. FEMA and its ability to respond to crisis worked under us. The rest of the world marvels at the efficiency of our Social Security system. What improvement in your quality of life can conservatives shown for their efforts? What advancement have they given you? I am proud to be a liberal and I know that you are too.” Instead liberals act like hound dogs who have just been caught making a mess on the carpet. This is why I love the concept of The Tripper.

I have never been a big fan of David Arquette. He always appeared to be Jim Carrey without the talent. Not only has he overacted in a string of bad films (See Spot Run, Ready to Rumble) but somehow won the heart of one of the hottest babes in Hollywood, Courteney Cox. If you don’t believe that he is a goof, I have twelve letters for you, “D.I.R.T. Squirrel,” a children’s character that he created but also a double entendre for a slutty female of questionable character. (Go to Youtube to see Dirt Squirrel’s adventures.) I know when I have a little girl I want her to say to me, “Daddy, I want to be a dirt squirrel.” So, it shocked me that such a brilliant idea came from him. One movie executive claimed that all successful movies can be summed up in one sentence. The Tripper is simply Ronald Reagan killing wussy liberals. It is a knife/kill flick where the killer wears a mask of the 40th President of the United States. Freaking brilliant. A political commentary in the form of a slasher film. Not only is it a great idea but somehow he got a who’s who of B-list Hollywood to appear in the thing for almost nothing. There is Thomas Jane, Jaime King, Jason Mewes, Lucas Haas, Paul Reubens, and his still beautiful wife. It is a film that both conservatives and liberals can enjoy depending on your interpretation of the film.

The film opens up with a young boy, who in order to protect his logger-father from a hippie, takes a chainsaw to the long-haired freak. So, if you hate hippies, who are you going to follow? The Gipper. He grows up almost worshipping Ronald Reagan. Many years later a promoter played by Paul Reubens decides to hold a music festival headlined by Fishbone and who shows up to the concert but dirty neo-hippie liberals. Let the hunting season begin. Like all slasher films, you have to have a group of teenagers who will be whittled down over the course of the film. They consist of King, Mewes, Haas, Brad Hunt, Paz de la Huerta, Balthazar Getty, and Marsha Thomason. You have to have in this type of film the right out of central casting sheriff and he is played by Thomas Jane. There is nudity and drugs a plenty as the bodies hit the floor. It is a bloodfest as you watch the countless ways to butcher hippies. The price of admission is almost worth it just to listen to Jason Mewes (Jay in the Kevin Smith films) go on Christopher Walken-like rants on why George W. Bush is the greatest President ever. Fans of groups like Fishbone will also like the soundtrack. Arquette as a director shows some talent that he has never shown before.

All that being said, it is still a slasher film and if you hate this genre no matter what your political outlook, you will find this movie stomach turning. It is a creature of its genre and never gets past that. Still, if you hate hippies or have an ironic sense of humor, I cannot think of a better way to spend the evening than watching the South Park episode where Cartman tries to save the town from a hippie music festival and then go to the theater to watch Ronald Reagan dispatch them with axes, dogs, knives, and chainsaws.

Verdict: Good For It Genre