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Zack and Miri Make a Porno

"Vaughn Meader is screwed!" – Lenny Bruce, November 22, 1963

Vaughn Meader, the name probably means nothing to you. Yet, in the early 1960s, he was probably bigger than The Beatles, at one point he sold more albums than they did. His album, First Family, was the fastest selling record in the history of the United States to that point. He sold an incredible 7.5 million albums over the course of one year and won the Grammy Award for Album of the Year in 1963. He was profiled in Life and Time magazines, sold out every venue he played, and even appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show before the Fab Four did. He was handsome, rich, and famous, and it all came crashing down one day in November 1963. A struggling singer and piano player, Vaughn’s New England accent sounded eerily similar to John F. Kennedy’s Harvard accent. Adjusting his voice slightly and contorting his face, he not only sounded like our young President, but bore a family resemblance to him. What at first was only a small part of his act, a line here and a line there, due to the crowd response, soon became the staple of his performances. Audiences howled as he gave phony press conferences, poked fun at the family’s football games, made fun of Jackie’s exuberant redecorating of the White House, complained about the President’s back problems, lamented the PT-109 incident, and talked loving about John John and Carolyn; all in the President’s voice. An album quickly followed and, at 27 years old, Vaughn Meader was the biggest act in showbiz.

Meader’s biggest fan was the President himself who gave out copies of Vaughn’s album as a Christmas gift. Kennedy even greeted the Democratic National Committee by saying, "Vaughn Meader was busy tonight, so I came myself." With his follow up album, The First Family Volume Two, due to be released in a few months, which insiders claimed was even better that the original, Vaughn had the world by the tail and it all came crashing down. He got into a taxi cab one day in Milwaukee and the driver turned around to say, “Hey, did you hear about Kennedy in Dallas?” Thinking it was a joke, Vaughn replied, “No, how does it go?” His career was over. Our President was dead. His sophomore effort was never released. Album sales plummeted. His rich and famous friends dropped him. No one wanted Meader around to remind them of our dead Commander-and-Chief even when he tried to do something else because he was so typecast. It just was not funny any more and Vaughn Meader disappeared quietly into a haze of drug abuse and depression.

Vaughn Meader should be a neon warning sign to every one trick pony in entertainment. No matter how successful you are, if you are only known for one thing, eventually you are going to wear out your welcome, and you are going to be shown the door. As beautiful as Jessica Simpson, Jessica Alba, and Jessica Beal are, a wrinkle here, some sagging there, maybe an extra pound or two, and they are toast. Except for Arnold, who has constantly remade himself, the muscle bound action stars of the 1980s, Jean Claude, Sly, Steven, Chuck, and Dolph have blown to the four winds. If you cannot overcome, your gimmick, it will eventually drown you. It is something that Kevin Smith needs to remember.

Every nerd and geek across America loves the story of how Kevin Smith made it from a lowly video store clerk to one of the biggest writers and directors in Hollywood. After borrowing every penny he could, maxing out numerous credit cards, and selling off his comic book collection, he filmed in the convenience store next to where he worked, what would later be known as the black-and-white gross-out comedy Clerks. Even though it was filled with four-letter words, potty humor, pop culture references and sex jokes, when it was completed he showed it to his parents. After it was done, like any good mother trying to build up the self-esteem of her child, Mrs. Smith looked at her son and said, "You spent $27,000 on this piece of garbage!?" Yes, he did and that “piece of garbage” went on to be the smash hit of the Sundance Film Festival and a cult favorite among college-age kids. With the exception of his lone failure Jersey Girl, Smith has followed the “garbage” formula developed in Clerks, all the way to the bank.

All told, his seven feature length films have made $127,449,225 and have been some of the most successful movies on DVD. Additionally, he has made millions more off his rabid fan base through his website, comic books and speaking tours. He has found more ways of picking their pockets than the Artful Dodger. Although he has toyed with superhero and other mainstream projects, been offered the chance to take over franchises like Fletch and Green Hornet, he has yet to make a splash outside of the gross out genre that has made him famous and, at some point, that well is going to go dry. Sometime in the future, unless he makes the transition to another style of humor, college-aged students, his bread and butter, are not going to identify with him and fill his coffers with their cash. There is a moment were watching someone your dad’s age do potty humor and sex jokes is more unsettling than funny. Pop cultural references and gags of a man in his 40s and 50s are not those of a teenage audience. With each film, I hope to see growth and development and yet he clings to his pat humor like Linus clutching a security blanket.

Zack and Miri, surprise, surprise, is a raunchy sex comedy. Zack (Seth Rogen) and Miri (Elizabeth Banks) are about to be booted from their apartment. With no electricity, phone or water, the two platonic friends have to come up with a plan fast. At a high school reunion, a light bulb goes off for Zack. They are going to make a porn together. The friends agree to get their freak on in front of the camera and of course things do not go as planned. Jason Mewes, porn stars Katie Morgan and Traci Lords, Smith’s wife, standup Jim Norton, and Smith regular Jeff Anderson fill out the cast. Strangely like a Judd Apatow film, there is a sweetness to the film and its one of the reasons it is going to be a huge hit. The only drawback is that Rogen and Banks have no real chemistry together and in turn the emotional center does not work as well as it should. All the Kevin Smith bullet points are in the film and it works again. Much like Clerks 2, he hits it out of the park. Again, he is not breaking any new ground.

One has to hope that his next film, Red State, which is supposed to be a horror film, gets made and is a big success. In the past, Smith has been associated with superhero projects that never get made, the Star Wars television show, a new Green Hornet movie (ironically Rogen is now helming it), and a relaunch of the Fletch franchise and none of the projects quite make it across the finish line. Smith has a ten year window to pump out these kinds of films before it gets kind of creepy and he looses touch with popular culture. Even the greats like Mel Brooks come to that moment when they are no longer relevant, unless they are continuing to grow and change. He could drop off the earth faster than Vaughn Meader which would be a real shame because he has a lot of talent.

Verdict: A Hilarious Film