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Bruno

Sacha Baron Cohen, Alice Evans, Thrishelle Cannatella

Once upon a time in a land called San Francisco there lived a ruler named Norton I, Emperor of the United States, Protector of Mexico, and prospective consort to the Queen of England. Don’t remember him being in our history books? In the mid 19^th century, Joshua Abraham Norton quietly slipped out of England with 40 thousand dollars in his pocket. Settling down in San Francisco, he struck it rich, maybe a better word is richer, during the gold rush, not mining for nuggets himself, but selling supplies to those stupid enough to go looking for it. Sinking his profits into land, he hit pay dirt again when some of his property became what is now San Francisco’s Cow Hollow district. Joshua was a great businessman, and looking around him, noticed the huge Chinese population in the area. He decided to order a massive shipment of chopsticks and rice, cornering the market, and reaping in the profits. One little problem on the way to the bank, when the rice came in from Europe, it was a quantity twice as large as expected. Mr. Norton could not pay for it and spent the next three years in court.

Beaten and bankrupt, something snapped, Norton vanished for the next nine months, turning up one day in a beaver hat and naval regalia on the streets of San Francisco. Marching to the nearest newspaper office, he submitted a written public notice that he was Emperor Norton I. He announced that he was abolishing the Congress of the United States and taking control of the nation. The editor, enjoying a good laugh, had it published. Now sad figures like Norton roam the streets of our country every day, but maybe it was the shear ludicrous nature of what he proclaimed, but many in San Francisco began to adopt him that day. Men and women would bow and curtsey when he passed by. Strangers would buy him his meals, but most restaurants just let him eat for free. Newspaper reporters hung on every word this tragic clown had to say, knowing that it made good copy. The local Masonic Lodge took care of his rent, the city paid for his uniforms, and due to his great love of the theater, he always demanded, and got, three seats to every major performance, one for himself, and two for his dogs, Lazarus and Bummer. Norton levied taxes on local businesses to be paid directly to him and even began to print his own currency, which most storekeepers took willingly.

San Franciscans looked forward to getting their newspapers every morning to find out what his newest decree would be. During his reign, he ordered nearby Mount Diablo to be torn down one shovel full at a time and Goat Island to be given to the city of Oakland. He lowered taxes, order President Andrew Jackson to be arrested and forced to become the Emperor’s personal boot black. He dissolved the United States and later fired Abraham Lincoln for how he managed the Civil War. The Emperor outlawed the Republican and Democratic parties and anyone found violating this edict faced a prison term of five-to-ten years. Anyone in his presence who uttered the word “Frisco” when referring to his beloved city was order to pay $25 to the Imperial Treasury. To make sure the city ran properly, he frequently checked to make sure the police were on patrol, that public buildings were up to snuff, and that maintenance crews kept things clean. The Emperor rewarded anyone he came across who was performing a kind act by naming them king or queen for a day. These titles became so important that neighborhood children went out of their way to clean up their streets hoping that Norton would reward them. Every police officer he passed saluted him. He led their annual parade and even inspected new recruits to see if they were worthy of being in the Imperial Constabulary. While on his daily walk through San Francisco, at age 65, he collapsed and died. In his pocket was found a telegram from Czar Alexander II and another from the President of France commenting on his upcoming marriage to England’s Queen Victoria. Ten thousand people showed up at his funeral.

Today if Norton I was walking around, most people would be looking for the hidden cameras. I don’t know about you, but it is getting hard to tell the crazies from the rest of us. It used to be, if you saw someone talking in a loud voice it probably meant they were nuts. Today, they are more than likely talking on a blue tooth. Every city now has their Howard Stern wanna-a-bes who send ringers to disturb local news conferences with their antics. Too many kids without any creativity or common sense see the internet as their path to becoming the next “Jackass” or “Punk’d.” Yet, the king of reality-based comedy is Sacha Baron Cohen, most famous for the “Da Ali G Show” and Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakstan.

A few months ago I walked into one of those big box stores to buy some goldfish. The elderly black man who usually helped me was not there and instead a young kid with an arm clearly affected with palsy was called over to assist me. Now there is nothing funny about palsy. It is a serious condition, let me repeat, not a laughing matter, but I dare anyone to keep a straight face when someone with palsy is trying to catch extremely quick goldfish with a small net. Biting my lip, I turned away and down the aisle was a midget in a superman costume; I am not making this up, a little person in a superman costume. Again, nothing funny in being height-challenged, but if you are going to wear a superman outfit, do not jump up and down in front of me, trying to grab something on the top shelf. It was one of those burn in hell moments, you know, those moments where you know if you laugh there is a good chance that the floor beneath you is going to open up and a guy with a pointed tail and pitchfork is going to invite you to tea for eternity.

Sacha Baron Cohen specializes in those moments. He pretends to be outlandish characters, sets up situations that real people believe are sincere and legitimate, and then captures the comedy that often makes the people involved look like fools and sometimes, even worse.

Borat is the most famous character of Bruno, the gay Australian entertainment reporter whose homosexuality is always omnipresent and flamboyant. With those who are homophobic, he pushes the mannerisms until the person’s prejudices bubble to the surface or something politically incorrect comes out of their mouths. Giving away particular scenes in the film would not be fair to anyone reading this review. Let us just say, if you thought Borat was funny, you will love this film. Cohen is the Peter Sellers of our time. Say what you will, Cohen is willing to push the comedy to the limit, even if that means getting naked in the process.

While this might be the funniest movie of the year, there are moments I laughed so hard it hurt, I cannot help but think of Emperor Norton I. Even at his nuttiest, he represented something kind and gentle in the human spirit. He was concerned about returning majesty to the city he loved, making sure the buildings were clean, the litter picked up, and that people treated each other with manners. That is not Sacha Baron Cohen. Kids picked up garbage and helped old ladies across the street because of Norton. What has Cohen inspired kids to do?

Verdict: Funniest movie of the Year