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The Business We Have Chosen: Guns, Guns, Guns

And I said to myself, this is the business we've chosen– Hyman Roth, The Godfather II

Arizona is quickly becoming the Gary Busey of American states, a tea party haven where old people, as they wait for their social security checks and Medicare reimbursements, bitch about illegal immigrants as their Hispanic gardener, who strangely struggles with his English, rakes their yard. So, it came as little surprise to me, a few months, back when they passed what I call “The Redneck Birth Control Act”. For those of you who do not stay a top of politics, in July, Governor Jan “Cat Lady Crazy” Brewer signed a new law that “expanded the rights of gun owners by allowing those with a concealed-carry permit to take their firearms into establishments that serve alcohol.” Guns and alcohol go together like peanut butter and jelly, or hot pants and tube tops. They are the Thelma and Louise of common sense. This means that 137,766 people are now able to go to their favorite establishment with a hog leg strapped to their side, enjoy some nachos, the big game and pistol whipping the bartender when he gets their virgin Pina Coloda wrong. A place that serves a liquid drug that lowers inhibitions, impairs judgment and causes loud, violent outbursts coupled with a weapon that can blow the back of your skull out, what could possibly go wrong with that? First there was the designated driver and now the designated shooter.

The NRA used to claim that happiness was a warm gun, but John Lennon, who was murdered by a man who legally purchased a .38 caliber handgun in Hawaii and “hollow point” bullets in Georgia, rightly noted it usually means you shot someone. We are a nation of gun nuts. Smith and Wesson are not just gun manufacturers; they are our patron saints. Americans do not want a pacifist Jesus hanging from a cross (and in the early church, the people who knew Jesus were pacifists; sorry, it is just the facts). We bow down before a Christ toting an AK 47. The FBI recently estimated that, if our cache of weapons were spread around equally, every man, woman and child could have one. Roughly one in four Americans owns at least one gun. Conservative estimates place the number of handguns in this nation at around 65 million. An American Medical Association report claims that 36 percent to 50 percent of male eleventh graders state that they could easily get their hands on a handgun if they wanted to. In another survey, 31 percent of middle school boys boast the same thing. This year gun violence will kill more children than asthma, HIV/AIDS, cancer, pneumonia, and influenza combined. Given these numbers, the only thing that is shocking is we do not have more school shootings than we do. Talk to a teenager who is a little different from his classmates, who has been bullied or made fun of, whose budding masculinity has been pushed into the mud. Hormones coursing, bodies changing, emotions out of control, any little slight increased tenfold, and an inability to understand that there is life after high school. It is an awful time. Then ask yourself, what is the fastest way to feel power and control again? It is a gun! It is little wonder that the National School Board Association estimates that kids will bring more than 135,000 guns to school every day. Don’t blame some rock musician, the latest video game or Hollywood. In an armed madhouse, for the most part, it is a blessing how good and sane our children are.

Now, I can already hear the “you’re trying to take away my gun” claptrap. Rightwing America, when it comes to their guns, is as paranoid as a John Bircher at a communist convention. Since Barack Obama has been elected there has been a shortage of ammunition. It is so dramatic that it is even affecting law enforcement and sheriff departments across the nation. Gun shops and large retailers like Walmart have had trouble keeping their supplies in stock. One owner noted that many of their customers are trying to purchase a lifetime supply because, “Everybody was scared he was going to take the ammo away, or he was going to tax it out of sight on the prices.” Not only are Americans stocking up on bullets but also weapons. In a recession that is crippling most industries, it is the halcyon days of the firearms industry. The FBI reports that background checks are up by 31 percent since Bush left office and those in the industry report up to a 50 percent increase in business.

So, how can I say that Obama is not trying to take your gun? That boat has already sailed. No one, and I mean no one, is trying to take away your gun. The war is over. The white flag raised. The Roberts Supreme Court will enjoy a 5-4 majority for decades to come. The NRA is the most powerful lobby in Washington. Most politicians have come to the conclusion that gun control is one of the third rails of politics. Politicians, from John Kerry to Sarah Palin, want to make sure they get pictured with a big ol’ gun in their hands. (Btw… All the Sarah Palin shooting everything on four legs stuff is mostly p.r. grist and photo ops for the masses. Friends and neighbors report that the pistol-packing mama image she has is complete fiction, kind of like George W. Bush’s cowboy image.) No contemporary politician would imagine giving a “Mindless Menace of Violence” speech like Robert Kennedy did, or advocate new gun control laws, or pushing tougher enforcement of those acts already on the books. (The Department of Justice admitted that twenty of the twenty-two laws on the books are not enforced, that roughly 2 percent of federal gun crimes were prosecuted, and these victories were mostly against street criminals. Most of the time, violations of the laws involving corrupt gun dealers, lying on a criminal background check form, obliterating the firearms’ serial number, possessing a gun in a school zone, gun trafficking, and selling guns to minors goes without punishment due to limited time and financial resources.)

It was after the Virginia Tech massacre, that I realized the firearms control bus had left the station. For those of you who have forgotten, in 2007, Seung-Hui Cho murdered 32 people before killing himself. It was the deadliest shooting by a lone gunman in US history. Not only were critics of our current gun laws almost mute and no major gun control legislation was proposed - although the Bush administration and the state of Virginia did grant a six month extension on their taxes by those affected by the shootings (“Hey, sorry you lost your daughter and that we screwed up by allowing a mentally ill young man to legally purchase a Walther P22 and a Glock 19, but to make up for it, you don’t have to pay your taxes for six whole months.) - but many opponents of gun control argued that it was Virginia Tech’s gun-free “safe zone” policy that was responsible for the deaths. If his fellow students had been armed, Cho would have never gotten a shot off. On almost every news show, this argument could be heard and no one went, “That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. Let me get this straight. You are advocating allowing a bunch of stressed out, sleep deprived, alcohol abusing teenagers, some of whom believe their worlds rise and fall with each test, who are probably away from their homes for the first time in their lives, to be packing heat? Ask any teaching assistant who has had a 25 minute discussion with an irrational kid, who they have just given a B- to, but believes he deserved an A, if they would feel comfortable having that same talk knowing the kid had a Colt under his jacket. Let’s pass out hand grenades to Alzheimer's patients.” Cho might not have been able to kill 32 but there would be at least 132 Cho’s every year.

So, am I advocating stricter gun control? No, there is no will for that, and for the most part, I am a libertarian. I would be satisfied with a little honesty and common sense. Whenever gun control is discussed, no one wants to take your hunting rifle away from you. Rights are not a zero sum game. There is a cost with every liberty people are given, and guns are costly. The vast majority of guns in criminals’ hands were purchased through legal means. If you want to own something that is more likely to accidently kill yourself, your friends or family than a criminal, more power to you. A country awash in firearms means that they are going to fall into the hands of children and the mentally ill, and that means more school shootings. It is just the cost of the business we are in.