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The Green Hornet

Seth Rogan, Jay Chou. Cameron Diaz

On January 31, 1936, Al Hodge leaned into the microphone of the WXYZ radio station in Detroit and whispered, “The Green Hornet. He hunts the biggest of all game, public enemies that even the G-men cannot reach. The Green Hornet.” (FBI director and cross-dresser J. Edgar Hoover became so angry when he heard the opening that he called the producers and demanded the line about G-men be removed from the opening because it embarrassed the Bureau. The producers quickly caved. No information as to whether Hoover was wearing a pink nightie when he made these demands but I like to think so.) An American institution was born. Listeners across the nation tuned in twice a week for thirty minutes, for the next sixteen years to hear the further adventures of this masked pulp hero, who got his name from a magazine story about how the Green Hornet was the most dangerous insect in nature. Over the course of the next half-century, his faithful servant Kato and he would appear in a daily comic strip, comic books, movie serials, pulp novels, and even get his own television show in the 1960s.

The brainchild of George W. Trendle and Fran Striker, the men who gave the world the Lone Ranger three years earlier, he was conceived of as a modern incarnation of the masked cowboy. Britt Reid, the secret identity of the Hornet, was the great-nephew of the Ranger. (Although this relationship grew complicated and had to be obscured when the Lone Ranger property was sold to another company, and so direct references could not be made to the masked man and his faithful Indian sidekick.) Instead of a horse named Silver, he patrolled the streets in a souped-up, black Pierce Arrow known as Black Beauty, the world’s quietest car. Among the hundreds of cool things that the car could do was sweep away its own tire tracks and spread oil across the road behind it. Like his forbearer, The Green Hornet did not kill his foes. Rather, he was masterful with his fists, and had a gun that fired knockout gas instead of bullets, and another that gave villains an electrical shock called the Hornet’s Sting.

Watching his back and constantly on the look out for police or criminals was his Filipino valet and driver, Ikano Kato. (His sidekick’s ancestry has changed several times, as Kato is a Japanese name. At first he was identified as Japanese, but given the political situation of the time this was something of a liability, especially once Pearl Harbor happened. In the movie serials he was identified as Korean. Later, martial arts were associated with his fighting style. Filipinos are known for a lot of things, but Kung Fu is not one of them. So, the Green Hornet’s “little brown buddy” ancestry changes all the time.) Thought of as a villain, he was really on the side of law and order. Like Spider-man later, the green-masked crime fighter often had to avoid arrest in the process of subduing thugs and crooks. From his position as owner and publisher of The Daily Sentinel, he could keep on top of underworld activities. (Hum… that might explain the cape, mask, and rope, I found in Mr. Lem’s car the other day. But it still does not explain the peanut butter, Terry Branstad signed photo and black neoprene spandex Minnie Mouse outfit with strategic cut outs.) publisher’s note: it is Lycra, not spandex!

The Green Hornet was so popular, that even the great General George S. Patton was nicknamed after him for awhile. The World War II generation listened to the voices of Al Hodge, Donovan Faust, Robert Hall, and Jack McCarthy narrating the adventures of the Hornet. (Even “60 Minutes” newsman Mike Wallace was briefly the program’s announcer.) Children of the 1960s and 1970s have memories of the campy spin-off of Batman that lasted from 1966 to 1967, but found a home on after school television for years. The blonde Van Williams as Britt Reid had the coolest car on network television, a $50,000 customized 1966 Chrysler Crown Imperial sedan. (The vehicle is on display at the Peterson Automotive museum in Los Angeles.) But the real star of the show was Bruce Lee, as his now Asian sidekick, Hayashi Kato, who didn’t just throw a punch, but kicked butt using his skills as a Kung Fu master. (One of the more embarrassing moments in the television series was a crossover with the Batman series, where Lee had to fight Burt Ward’s Robin to a draw.) Bruce Lee was so popular in Asia that the show was in syndication for years there as “The Kato Show”. Children found the Hornet again in the 1990s in the pages of NOW comics. Paul Reid is the fourth in the Green Hornet lineage.

The newest Hornet has run through three Katos: Mishi (a woman), Hayaski, and Kono.

Like Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and almost every other superhero project, the saga of Britt Reid and Kato had been in developmental hell for years. Actors like George Clooney, Marky Mark Wahlberg, Jason Scott Lee, Jet Li, Nicolas Cage, Stephen Chow and Hugh Jackman have all been linked with the project. Producers lured director Kevin Smith, whose love of comics and pop culture was well known to the project, but, a few months later he left. It was then that they made a strange decision, to parody the character. They hired Seth Rogan, hot off of comedies Knocked Up and Superbad. The formally portly actor (he lost 30 pounds to play the role) seemed like the last actor this side of Jack Black one would associate with a superhero. His screen presence seemed too lightweight, too good natured, to be a two-fisted crime fighter. He has the on-screen charisma of the likeable guy down the street not that of a Cage, Clooney or even young Alec Baldwin. Rogan does not have the feel of the noir hero.

What Rogan does have is the background as a writer, having penned Pineapple Express, several episodes of the criminally underrated “Undeclared”, and dozens of articles in High Times magazine. He also has the amazing ability to surround himself with extremely creative talent, such as Kevin Smith, Sacha Baron Cohen, Adam Sandler, and Judd Apatow. With this project he teamed up with director Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Forgotten Mind) to pen the script, really two scripts, one more serious and the other more comedic. The lighter one won.

So, is the Green Hornet any good? No. The problem is superhero franchises are tricky things and Rogan does not look like a superhero. Warner Brothers were considering having Jack Black play The Green Lantern a few years ago, but was smart enough to realize at the last moment that it would be a huge mistake, no matter how popular Black was. Sony did not have similar wisdom. The tone has to be just right for the Green Hornet to work. The film is too campy, too comic bookish. Gondry’s previous work, while good, has always had a light, airy whimsical quality to it. A director like Christopher Nolan would have been a better choice to take the helm of the movie. Rogan, whose ethos is that of a stoner, was not a fan of the Green Hornet comic book or even radio show incarnations. Superhero franchises work when the stars, writers and director get why that character has been popular for decades. It is missing here. Much like Will Eisner’s The Spirit that hit theaters two years ago, Rogan’s attempt at a superhero franchise will fail, which is a shame, because the Trendle and Striker character deserves better.

Verdict: A Major Miss