Tweeting and Pence Goes To The Theater   Take a moment; I really want you to fully understand what I am telling you. I want it to bathe all over you. We have a 70-year-old president-elect who during the last few weeks of the election his staff had to take his cell phone away from him at night so that he could not tweet insane rants. Let me repeat, grown adults had to take the smart phone away from another grown adult whose judgment and wisdom is needed to keep the world from becoming a burning cinder.  We are going to trust him with the nuclear codes, the economy, and our nation’s best-kept secrets, but his own kids were prying his phone out of his tiny little fingers every night so that they did not have to wake up wondering, “How did dad channel Archie Bunker in a 140 characters tonight?”   Seriously, I understand hiding grandpa’s booze and cigarettes. Those are addictions, but taking away his cell phone? Sadly, it worked.  Millions of Americans went, “I like the cut of his jib. I am looking forward to him tweeting that Germany’s Angela Merkel has a fat backside.”   That was totally unfair of me.  President Trump has asked for all Americans to unite behind him. And he quickly showed America that he is the kind of president we should all rally around by naming Steve Bannon, the white supremacist centerfold, as his top advisor in the White House. David Duke, the former Grand Wizard that put the K in KKK, thought the pick is “excellent.”   President Trump has denounced racism and racists that support his presidency, but given his rhetoric during that campaign it is like Willy Wonka fretting about Type-2 Diabetes while handing out candy bars.    For you ladies out there, not only does Bannon have issues with blacks and Jews, but according to the Santa Monica, California police he tried to strangle his ex-wife in a domestic violence disturbance, leaving marks on her neck and wrist, and showed his family values by ripping the phone from his then wife, while she was calling 911, and shattering it against the wall while their young twin daughters watched. It was not the first or the last time the police would get called to the fun loving Bannon house. So, lets get this this straight, the “let’s grab them by the pussy” guy will be two doors down from and get advice from the “strangle her by the neck” guy? And that is not sending a message to women across America? It makes you long for the days of Bill Clinton dropping his pants and doing the Donald Duck waddle across the Oval Office.   “Son, if you work hard and assault enough women, you too can dream of being a powerbroker in the West Wing. And if you rant about not wanting your kids to go to school with Jews, that might help a bit as well.” “Young women, if you work hard and believe in yourself, you too can be choked out by an advisor to the president or have your private parts treated like a bowling ball by the president himself, but only if you are at least a 9, okay, a 9.5. We have standards in this country. God bless America!”   I would love to be a fly on the wall when President Trump and Bannon get together with disgraced former head of Fox News, the Jabba the Hut stand-in, Trump advisor and close personal friend Roger Ailes, get together.  It must be like watching the fifth installment of the Porky’s movie franchise, Porky’s: The Assisted Living Years, meets Lord of the Flies.   While he is not putting together Abraham Lincoln’s team of rivals to form his cabinet, okay, it is more like the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, okay, that might be aiming a little high, I am pretty sure all of them have a pulse and are breathing.  He has an Education Secretary that has never been in a classroom, had kids in a public school classroom, or even majored in education back in college. Her main qualifications? Her family has given millions in dark money and she wants “a return on our investment.”   Okay, again, I am not being fair. She and her husband were producers of a Broadway musical about disgraced evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson with word and music by Kathie Lee “I Never Met A Sweatshop I Didn’t Like Kids Working In” Gifford. It closed after three weeks.   Ben Carson was offered the position of Housing and Urban Development Secretary because who is better qualified to run a major cabinet department than a brain surgeon who has never even run a hospital. Housing policies/overseeing the budget of a department that affects millions of American’s lives and separating conjoined twins, same thing.    Alabama Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has been tapped as Attorney General because who better to protect the civil rights of millions of Americans than a man that was vetoed for a federal judgeship because he thought the Ku Klux Klan was “okay until I found out they smoked pot”. He thought the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was a “piece on intrusive legislation,” and other racist wacky moments.    Other names that have been floated are Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, Rudy Giuliani Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, Florida Governor and Skeletor doppelganger Rick Scott, and Mike Huckabee, almost anyone who has run an oil or gas company. You cannot claim you are draining the swamp if you’re bringing all the bog creatures with you to Washington.   Still, he is our president, mainly because there is just something about Hillary Clinton that millions of aging white males did not like. I have wracked my brain and cannot put my finger on what it is. What is it? What is it? If I could only put my finger on it… Wait, I am not Donald Trump and certainly would not hang out in a bus with Billy Bush.    (In all honesty, Hillary Clinton lost because five million Obama voters stayed home, many of them Bernie bros that took their ball and went home or voted their conscious. Voting your conscious and twenty-five cents does not even buy you a cup of coffee. Some were deflated by Hillary’s use of a private server because a 68-year- old woman in a pantsuit is a criminal mastermind when it comes to computers even though most of her emails seem to have been asking her staff to print stuff for her because she could not figure out the print command (seriously).  America should just have been happy that she did not forward half the country an email of Red Skeleton’s mediation on The Pledge of Allegiance or that hilarious gif file of the goggly-eyed bovine suffering from mad cow disease.  I am pretty sure she thinks Siri is something that you enjoy at an Indian restaurant and then curse for the next couple hours when you are in the bathroom.)   So, Donald Trump is super busy divesting himself of his company or putting it in a blind trust. Okay, he is not doing that. No thorny ethical problems going to pop up there. No world leaders showing up at the White House in “I Stayed At The Trump Hotel And All I Got Was Lousy T-Shirt” t-shirts. No sweetheart deals by foreign countries to court his favor.   Those daily national security briefings take time. Okay, he is has only done a couple of those. With Trump busy getting up to speed so that is he not caught flat-footed when he assumes office and promising to be presidential, I am sure he does not have time for his Twitter rants. I am sure he is not going to attack the Pope, Gold Star parents, women, Rosie O’Donnell, war heroes, or beauty queens.   No, Donald Trump took time from office figuring out how to defeat Isis and protect the nation from terrorists to tweet about America’s greatest threat, Broadway singers and dancers.  It seems like the greatest threats to freedom in America are a television show on Saturday night and the cast of the musical Hamilton.   It seems the man who is supposed to represent American dignity wanted an apology from people who a few months ago were probably waiting tables because they got all “mean girls” with Vice-President Mike Pence. Okay, they did not get all mean girl. In fact, they were pretty respectful. I probably should be happy that the Donald knows how to spell “apologize.” I was concerned that he did not know what it was given his conduct the last few months.   Future Vice-President Mike Pence, the governor who supported a constitutional ban of marriage equality, signed a bill that would have jailed homosexuals that applied for marriage license, and wanted to take money meant for HIV research and apply it towards conversion therapy, aka “shocking the gay away”, went to a Broadway play with his wife. Now, one would think he would know that there might be a homosexual or two in the cast.  It would be like me going to the Sons of Norway Hall and being surprised to find Norwegians there. Plus, he now represents all the racist, xenophobic, and sexist things that Donald Trump has said over the last few months.   So, we have a group of people filled with concerns about how they are going to be treated in Donald Trump’s America.  One of the actors reads a respectful statement about their concerns as Mike Pence is making a bee-line for the exit. This is the kind of moment a smart politician who wants to bring the country together dreams of.  A simple statement that you hear their concerns, they are a part of America, and then a victory lap around Trump Tower because you showed Americans that you are listening to them and their worries after a divisive election.    Donald Trump has asked Americans to rally around him, but has given no reason why they should. A person must reach out their hand in order to get a hand in return. Judgment, it is something very presidential.    
Tweeting and Pence Goes To The Theater   Take a moment; I really want you to fully understand what I am telling you. I want it to bathe all over you. We have a 70-year-old president-elect who during the last few weeks of the election his staff had to take his cell phone away from him at night so that he could not tweet insane rants. Let me repeat, grown adults had to take the smart phone away from another grown adult whose judgment and wisdom is needed to keep the world from becoming a burning cinder.  We are going to trust him with the nuclear codes, the economy, and our nation’s best-kept secrets, but his own kids were prying his phone out of his tiny little fingers every night so that they did not have to wake up wondering, “How did dad channel Archie Bunker in a 140 characters tonight?”   Seriously, I understand hiding grandpa’s booze and cigarettes. Those are addictions, but taking away his cell phone? Sadly, it worked.  Millions of Americans went, “I like the cut of his jib. I am looking forward to him tweeting that Germany’s Angela Merkel has a fat backside.”   That was totally unfair of me.  President Trump has asked for all Americans to unite behind him. And he quickly showed America that he is the kind of president we should all rally around by naming Steve Bannon, the white supremacist centerfold, as his top advisor in the White House. David Duke, the former Grand Wizard that put the K in KKK, thought the pick is “excellent.”   President Trump has denounced racism and racists that support his presidency, but given his rhetoric during that campaign it is like Willy Wonka fretting about Type-2 Diabetes while handing out candy bars.    For you ladies out there, not only does Bannon have issues with blacks and Jews, but according to the Santa Monica, California police he tried to strangle his ex-wife in a domestic violence disturbance, leaving marks on her neck and wrist, and showed his family values by ripping the phone from his then wife, while she was calling 911, and shattering it against the wall while their young twin daughters watched. It was not the first or the last time the police would get called to the fun loving Bannon house. So, lets get this this straight, the “let’s grab them by the pussy” guy will be two doors down from and get advice from the “strangle her by the neck” guy? And that is not sending a message to women across America? It makes you long for the days of Bill Clinton dropping his pants and doing the Donald Duck waddle across the Oval Office.   “Son, if you work hard and assault enough women, you too can dream of being a powerbroker in the West Wing. And if you rant about not wanting your kids to go to school with Jews, that might help a bit as well.” “Young women, if you work hard and believe in yourself, you too can be choked out by an advisor to the president or have your private parts treated like a bowling ball by the president himself, but only if you are at least a 9, okay, a 9.5. We have standards in this country. God bless America!”   I would love to be a fly on the wall when President Trump and Bannon get together with disgraced former head of Fox News, the Jabba the Hut stand-in, Trump advisor and close personal friend Roger Ailes, get together.  It must be like watching the fifth installment of the Porky’s movie franchise, Porky’s: The Assisted Living Years, meets Lord of the Flies.   While he is not putting together Abraham Lincoln’s team of rivals to form his cabinet, okay, it is more like the gang that couldn’t shoot straight, okay, that might be aiming a little high, I am pretty sure all of them have a pulse and are breathing.  He has an Education Secretary that has never been in a classroom, had kids in a public school classroom, or even majored in education back in college. Her main qualifications? Her family has given millions in dark money and she wants “a return on our investment.”   Okay, again, I am not being fair. She and her husband were producers of a Broadway musical about disgraced evangelist Aimee Semple McPherson with word and music by Kathie Lee “I Never Met A Sweatshop I Didn’t Like Kids Working In” Gifford. It closed after three weeks.   Ben Carson was offered the position of Housing and Urban Development Secretary because who is better qualified to run a major cabinet department than a brain surgeon who has never even run a hospital. Housing policies/overseeing the budget of a department that affects millions of American’s lives and separating conjoined twins, same thing.    Alabama Senator Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III has been tapped as Attorney General because who better to protect the civil rights of millions of Americans than a man that was vetoed for a federal judgeship because he thought the Ku Klux Klan was “okay until I found out they smoked pot”. He thought the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was a “piece on intrusive legislation,” and other racist wacky moments.    Other names that have been floated are Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, Rudy Giuliani  Kansas Governor Sam Brownback, Florida Governor and Skeletor doppelganger Rick Scott, and Mike Huckabee, almost anyone who has run an oil or gas company. You cannot claim you are draining the swamp if you’re bringing all the bog creatures with you to Washington.   Still, he is our president, mainly because there is just something about Hillary Clinton that millions of aging white males did not like. I have wracked my brain and cannot put my finger on what it is. What is it? What is it? If I could only put my finger on it… Wait, I am not Donald Trump and certainly would not hang out in a bus with Billy Bush.    (In all honesty, Hillary Clinton lost because five million Obama voters stayed home, many of them Bernie bros that took their ball and went home or voted their conscious. Voting your conscious and twenty-five cents does not even buy you a cup of coffee. Some were deflated by Hillary’s use of a private server because a 68-year-old woman in a pantsuit is a criminal mastermind when it comes to computers even though most of her emails seem to have been asking her staff to print stuff for her because she could not figure out the print command (seriously).  America should just have been happy that she did not forward half the country an email of Red Skeleton’s mediation on The Pledge of Allegiance or that hilarious gif file of the goggly-eyed bovine suffering from mad cow disease.  I am pretty sure she thinks Siri is something that you enjoy at an Indian restaurant and then curse for the next couple hours when you are in the bathroom.)   So, Donald Trump is super busy divesting himself of his company or putting it in a blind trust. Okay, he is not doing that. No thorny ethical problems going to pop up there. No world leaders showing up at the White House in “I Stayed At The Trump Hotel And All I Got Was Lousy T-Shirt” t-shirts. No sweetheart deals by foreign countries to court his favor.   Those daily national security briefings take time. Okay, he is has only done a couple of those. With Trump busy getting up to speed so that is he not caught flat-footed when he assumes office and promising to be presidential, I am sure he does not have time for his Twitter rants. I am sure he is not going to attack the Pope, Gold Star parents, women, Rosie O’Donnell, war heroes, or beauty queens.   No, Donald Trump took time from office figuring out how to defeat Isis and protect the nation from terrorists to tweet about America’s greatest threat, Broadway singers and dancers.  It seems like the greatest threats to freedom in America are a television show on Saturday night and the cast of the musical Hamilton.   It seems the man who is supposed to represent American dignity wanted an apology from people who a few months ago were probably waiting tables because they got all “mean girls” with Vice-President Mike Pence. Okay, they did not get all mean girl. In fact, they were pretty respectful. I probably should be happy that the Donald knows how to spell “apologize.” I was concerned that he did not know what it was given his conduct the last few months.   Future Vice-President Mike Pence, the governor who supported a constitutional ban of marriage equality, signed a bill that would have jailed homosexuals that applied for marriage license, and wanted to take money meant for HIV research and apply it towards conversion therapy, aka “shocking the gay away”, went to a Broadway play with his wife. Now, one would think he would know that there might be a homosexual or two in the cast.  It would be like me going to the Sons of Norway Hall and being surprised to find Norwegians there. Plus, he now represents all the racist, xenophobic, and sexist things that Donald Trump has said over the last few months.   So, we have a group of people filled with concerns about how they are going to be treated in Donald Trump’s America.  One of the actors reads a respectful statement about their concerns as Mike Pence is making a bee- line for the exit. This is the kind of moment a smart politician who wants to bring the country together dreams of.  A simple statement that you hear their concerns, they are a part of America, and then a victory lap around Trump Tower because you showed Americans that you are listening to them and their worries after a divisive election.    Donald Trump has asked Americans to rally around him, but has given no reason why they should. A person must reach out their hand in order to get a hand in return. Judgment, it is something very presidential.